Out on a school night

Last night I went to a media event.  A birthday bash for a magazine turning 10.  I got to mingle with celebs and media reps, editors and endless top-ups of Bollinger.

The crowd I would describe as corporately good looking.  So not the usual drab suits or evening party dresses with super high heels, rather outfits that were stylish, smart, with daring bursts of colour and prints, a silver jacket with a return of sharp shoulders and I even saw quirky but trendy suits that boasted creative flair.

The canapés before the speech and presentation were tasty and stylish, what more can you expect from a top shelf food magazine?

Though I did hear someone else ask what was in one of them and decided against it because it wasn't diet.  I don't think you can get diet versions of canapés?

A screen door then opened and where we were moved into a different part of the warehouse.  It was a great surprise and fantastically decorated.  We moved outside and there was a pig on a spit spinning and I tried not to stare at it too long before I felt bad as all eyes were still intact.  I mean I'm not a vegetarian but whenever I see the eyes even with fish I get a little uncomfortable with wanting to eat it.

When we did head out again later though the pigs ears were gone!

More food came out, a mixture of pizza, mini-burgers, smoked salmon salad, even sandwiches, by then I was pretty full or more likely tipsy from all of the champagne top-ups.

Then dessert came out and it was pretty amazing, they had actually made the same cake that was on the cover of their 10th birthday issue.

Pretty damn delicious and I even ate the cheesecake as well, wanted to try the pavlova but decided against it.

When we left we were given a goodie bag filled with awesome stuff, most of the time bags like this are filled with crap you don't even use but this was awesome, I loved everything in it!

Happy Birthday Delicious magazine.

Have always been a fan and to be a part of this celebration was just fan-ta-ma-tas-tic!

you'll just have to wait a little while longer

there are already two possible posts I have up my sleeve.
back to the funny things that happen in my life ... hooray!

i think i would probably give my last few posts the flick if i had the chance .... i mean boobs?!  when i re-read it, it's not even a write up.  what was i really trying to say? what was the point?

as they say in this current time ....

BRB

I want to give up

It's coming up to two years now since the break up and I am still hanging on.

I wish that I could give up on him but something won't let me.

It hurts me when I am speaking to him on the phone and he tells me that he is going home because there is nothing else to do and that he is bored.  I wonder why he wouldn't call me then if the reason why he doesn't is because he is too busy.

I am not sure we are on the same page.  More and more I am thinking that he has no intentions at all of giving us another chance that what I am to him is just an easy way to pass the time and an easy phone call to get laid.

I know. I know. I am totally repeating myself.  I must try and try again to stop this stupid thing we have going.

But how can I?  For even if he doesn't feel the same way, the time that I spend with him makes up for all the time I don't spend with him.  Even for one small moment in time in comparison to every other time, I feel wanted and I am not alone.

Is him saying that I am not just a booty call to him just another way of him stringing me along? Him playing games?

Why don't I have the strength to just move on.

I am scared.

Of him being with someone else.  And of me being alone.

Rambling

I wonder if everything I write about makes sense or if everything that I say is just stupid nonsense.

Sometimes I read through past posts and I think to myself - "how could I have ever written that - what was I thinking"

I think it is time for bed.

Too much thinking and too much stress leads to well.... no words at all.

Anxiety.