gosh - what am I becoming?

I was thinking this morning about this blog and what it is turning into.  I definitely don't want this little space of mine to become a whiny spot and my lack of focus with other things so positive in my life and me leading me into this whiny person.

So this morning, a new perspective, to try and be positive and not focus so much on whining about Mister or the lack of him in my life.  To not mention the fact that I am single and hating it but single and loving life.

I sorta think that this new perspective with my words and thinking will eventually become reality and that is what I need to believe.  What I am doing at the moment is not working and I guess you all know that.

So ... I have made plans:

1. Make a date with my foodie buddies

2. Go for a night out with my awesome friend Jay

3. Make another date with the currently very busy Smiz who I am missing dearly

4. A catch up with my bestie in Melbourne tonight - even though I get in so late

5. Get a hair cut

And I guess now that I have made a concrete list - I can't go back on my word. 

x

Alright, calm down love.

I'm so lucky to have friends who care.  

It is because of my gorgeous friend Jay that I feel ok today.  She emailed me throughout the day, when I sat teary eyed in front of my computer at my desk.  As I was walking home she put a call in and wouldn't let me speak, she spoke and said I wasn't alone.  It's so nice to be able to not get a word in, to just listen to words of encouragement and to be left thinking about other things to improve my life seeing as I am so unhappy.

I am also blessed to have such an amazing bro, who always puts his own issues aside to give me his own words of encouragement.  Often unbiased advice, it's always something I take on board and I always respect.  

With regards to my post yesterday, I was so, so angry, I had to get it out.  At least it wasn't in front of him and at least I didn't make a fool out of myself by calling him like a psycho and telling him how it is.

I need to let go, I don't know how many more times I can go through another 'break-up' again and another attempt of telling him he needs to let me go.