Dating game phase 2: Personality is not enough

Ok so my ego is still bruised and I don't think I have fully recovered from my disaster of a date-aftermath ... yet.

I have come to the conclusion that personality is just not enough for most and although now I have kicked myself in many places I just have to come to accept what I have done ... that is not putting an effort into first impressions.

Well I am definitely rusty, so now I am beginning to think that yes there is a purpose and reason why women take hours to get ready when I do it in twenty minutes tops.  Hair, nails, face, outfit - I have come to believe that maybe I have forgotten how to be and how to act like a single woman.

I could very well live the rest of my days being with just me - alone.  I don't really know how to act other than acting myself and from what I have experienced over the last few days, and perhaps even months, it's just not good enough if you really do want to get to the stage of being wanted or even looked at.

Gone are the days when I could just head out and let my craziness attract whomever I attract, these days, now in the midst of my dirty thirties, I just find that it is so much harder and you can't just be yourself.

More games to play, harder games, more time to take in your appearance, more flaws to hide in order to project the perception of being some sort of 'wanted'.

I can't just rock out in thongs anymore, I can't leave the house without a bit of powder on, and finished with a lip gloss prettier than the Blistex I normally use.

In my grocery bag most things are reduced fat, or no fat, when all I really want is a tub of Ben and Jerry's and a big bottle of Coke.  For a time in my early twenties I lived on blue Powerade and Cheese and Bacon balls, now I can't put a chip in my mouth without feeling guilty.

I never had to dress to impress, I just act my crazy self and never spent longer than a few weeks without getting laid.  I do the same today and more than likely I'm in a cab talking crap to the driver and ending up in my bed alone.

Now I find I just can't depend on my personality or my quirkiness or my loudness or my care free attitude to life.  Now things are just so much more complicated, there are rules to abide by, clothes that I can't wear anymore, and certain ways to act, to impress.

Dating game phase 2 - 'what have I gotten myself into?'

Yours Truly,

Miss A.