Bad Hair Night

It was hard to accept but I had one of those nights.

As I was preparing to meet up with Cuz for a bite and a few glasses of wine in Neutral Bay, I didn't think to do my hair, rather it was just tied up.  I did however go a little heavier on the eye liner giving myself a little taste of mod, printed knitted dress and high heeled suede boots.

Cuz then decides she would like to go out after dinner and I thought to do the same.  So we drove home to drop the car off and also perform a quick outfit change.

I found a black glittery dress in my wardrobe which I haven't worn for awhile. It was a shift dress that had a scoop neck.  I had imagined looking like Serena Van Der Woodsen from Gossip Girl.  I looked in my long mirror and topped with some high heeled ankle boots, hair up and black lined eyes I thought I looked quite chic, quite New York.

Cuz then came into my room, little shorts on, high heeled pumps finished with a furry vest, very cute and looking super hot.  We both left and as we walked out of our foyer, I caught myself in the mirror and knew straight away the dress was a bad choice.  I didn't look anywhere close to Serena Van Der Woodsen at all, rather I looked like a glittered version of Sponge Bob.

Over at Cherry whilst sipping on my usual Tommy's margarita, I didn't feel the vibe.  I felt frumpy next to Cuz, my legs where twice the size of hers, and I felt like an elephant next to the petite ball of hotness sitting next to me.  The guy that came up to her and interrupted our conversation by saying how pretty she was didn't even know I was there.  Usually a guy would talk to both girls if there's only two, acknowledge and introduce himself to both but nope, I didn't even exist to him.

The DJ played a track that I really loved.  I went up to him, smiled, and maybe even flirted a little.  Told him it was a top track, an awesome tune, and all I got was the cold shoulder.  A nod and a look that said 'you weirdo'.  I went back to the bar, a little uncomfortable, a lot fatter than I felt, and definitely a lot older.

I then started to feel ancient.  Like a cougar that forgot how to dress, an old lady trying to behave young but was just so out of place.  It was a horrid place to be.  I kept drinking but I couldn't even feel tipsy, feel the effects of anything other than disgust at my horrible choice in dress, and the way I have been acting.

That night I didnt have my mojo, I started to feel extremely uneasy, crappy, and really felt my age, and totally out of place.  There I was, an oldie in a place full of beautiful girls with hot bodies, flawless skin and gorgeous looks.  I then started feeling jealous of them all and wished so much I too could be ten years younger, and why didn't I live the way I am living now ten years ago.  I wasted so much of my life in the bedroom, a recluse. (That is a whole other story)

I was glad to call it a night, to just head home and go to bed and take that wretched dress off and dump it in a corner.

At the end of it all, the dress went into a clothing donation bag.

The power of clothing and make-up and actually putting in some effort.  Because if you feel good about yourself, you will give off the same energy and confidence.

Lesson learnt - the dress hung in my wardrobe for over a year without being worn for a reason.  Last time I wore it, I remember now.  I felt exactly the same way.