Boys, boys, boys

I must say getting attention from boys gives me the warm and fuzzies.  I mean I'm not in love, far from it.  But I have come a long way from feeling so unwanted and ugly at one point in my life to finding a new confidence within myself.

I'm glad I don't walk around hating myself anymore, and I look forward to my every day.  No I haven't lost the ten kilos I want to lose, and I am still paying off a painful debt and I sometimes I do think about how old I am getting, but it is bearable nowadays.  You could say that I have finally broken away from the clutches of Mister and his games.

It was so obvious to everyone around me but of course not obvious to me, clutching onto the strands of what could've been with him.  

He has been calling and texting me, it has stopped now and I think it was because he got the message.  He has been wanting to catch up and even one night was really forward asking me if I was keen for 'snuggles'.  I ignored the text and said the next day I was asleep.  After the third or fourth decline there has been silence from him, and I haven't heard from him now in days.

I think about being with him again and to my surprise I don't feel any desire to, I can finally say that I am no longer attracted to him! Finally.....

The Candidate.  Bless his cotton socks, he is so cute, but really just a boy.  He sends me adorable texts that make me laugh, and he shows interest in catching up, but again I have been busy.  It's my new thing - friends and me time first, boys later.  I have found in the past I have always wanted to rush things, I would always think, 'quick, quick' all the time but have realised I just need to slow down.  Just because you slept with him last night doesn't mean he will text or call the next day.  Newly found dating training.

Over mojitos by Circular Quay one sunny Sunday afternoon, a friend told me about this phone app that connects you with boys.  It took me less than a minute to sign up and upload a pic from my phone and away I went.  I became pretty obsessed initially, on the phone just chatting to whoever, and the choice not to respond once boredom set in. 

It may not even eventuate to anything at all, but I consider this as practice.  I've never been one to flirt with boys or even be able to speak to random boys in a social setting so I suppose starting off with phone chat is like baby steps to make me more sociable.

At the moment,  I'm just after a bit of fun and flirting is fun.