I had my second date with the married man. In between the first and the second date I couldn't stop fantasising about him. It would take over my day, on the train, during meetings at work, and even in bed, I would think about him and imagine what it would be like to be with him as I fell asleep.
But no matter how much I wanted to dream about him, it would never happen. Perhaps it was a sign?
On the day that we planned to meet, for some reason something in me clicked, or maybe I had over obsessed to a point where he actually started to turn me off.
I started to think of the negatives, he took me to a place where he said were the best margaritas in the Southern Hemisphere. He was very wrong. The margaritas were watery and much too sour. And then he kept going on and on and on about this one place to get pizza but it shut early during the week and I have heard reports that they have been struggling - probably due to bad positioning and not being able to open at nights. This restaurant was in a shopping centre, it was not exactly the best spot to be hosting what's meant to be the best pizza in town. But I trusted him, more so than the margaritas, he was Italian, and he would know best about his home cuisine.
But I guess what really happened was that after the initial cheekiness and naughtiness of it all, the idea of an older married man stopped appealing to me. I started to look at him differently. How deceitful he was, how selfish he was behaving and how much I didn't respect him at all.
To top it all off, during our second date at a high end cocktail bar, his arrogance came out. He wasn't very friendly to the bar tender or the cocktail waitress, and he acted like he was above them. I noticed another thing, he kept repeating himself and if I didn't start on a new topic, he repeated what he had already told me. He told me how nice it was to see me again about five or six times. What happened to the fun night we had initially? The endless flow of conversation, how easy it was to talk and just be. Did I really find out all about him in one night? Was there nothing else he could have brought up or said or told me? Not even with the decade of living he had ahead of me?
Lack of conversation, his arrogance, how I have come to notice him as being a creature of nature, not living outside the box. Not deal breaking I know, but after obsessing about him for a week, maybe I just had enough. He obviously didn't live up to how I imagined him to be. It was definitely for the better - a grateful gift in disguise.
I made up an excuse, said I had an exhausting day and I really needed to go. After he suggested to have dinner, I declined and said next time. He still tried and said one more drink at another bar, but I still said no. I had made up my mind and wanted to get out of there as soon as I can.
I politely went to the ladies and returned the Candidate's missed call I saw on my phone earlier on. He offered to come and pick me up from my 'work drinks' and I accepted. It was raining heavily after all.
I promised the married guy I would make it up to him, and that next time we would have the best fun and I would not be so tired. When I kissed him goodbye on the cheek, the thought of having to kiss his other cheek, the second kiss, was grossing me out. I couldn't believe how fast and what a u-turn I had made with how I felt about him. You can't really help your feelings, and I even though I was glad it ended up this way, I still don't know how I came to these emotions so suddenly after a week of day dreams and smiles.
That night I stopped obsessing. And I think he got the message also. I still think of him at times, but I am happy I never picked that apple.
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