Drunk sexing - V2

I did have a previous post on this subject which I have deleted as I wasn't happy with it.  On reflection, in addition to the structure and content, perhaps I also deleted it as it wasn't true to my heart.

Let's start again.

It's been awhile since I participated in a drunken one-night stand.  Usually whenever I did have sex, even if it was casual, I at least participated in conversation, knew a bit about him and we both had an understanding that we did like each other or at least found a mutual attraction.

This drunken sex act however did not even have any conversation involved, yes we talked but it was social talk, and as you get after a few more drinks and shots of tequila, everything becomes nothing more than a blur.

I thought it was a little too easy when he said to me out of the blue, 'I think I should come home with you'.

And when I'm drunk and I think you're cute, I'm not going to say no.

I don't know if I can remember much of what happened, it was dark, we fumbled with clothes, we passed out and I woke up with him next to me.

He left with a short goodbye, no exchange of numbers, no conversation in bed, no next steps.

Back in Sydney and I just feel a little lost, a little weird that it all happened that way.  It has been such a long time since I have done anything like this I wasn't sure how I should deal with it.  No biggie I say to myself but I would have maybe preferred to find out if we did have a mutual attraction, if we really did want to sleep with each other rather than me believing that what happened meant nothing at all other than a drunken spontaneous decision.

Sometimes I do wish I could turn that button off in my head and in my heart, where I can just mindlessly pick up and get it on with someone, a total stranger and not even wanting to know their name or something interesting about them.

Well I actually tried and well, the button didn't stay off and I wonder about the whole idea of it happening and if it was all a forced effort and if there was any attraction there at all.  It could very well and in which I truly believe it to be, an easy set up between friends, something that was a sure thing.

I wouldn't say that I would be too keen to get myself into such a position and make such a rash decision again.  What probably did it was the excitement of being in a different city, and the idea of having sex with someone new instead of constantly heading back to my ex even if it was just to satisfy sexual urges and needs that we all have.

At the end of the day what happened was just a whole lot of fun, even if I do not recall most of it, I just need to remember that the excellent hangover that I got the next morning was definitely worth every bit of it.

Yours truly,

Miss A.