Anxiety strikes back

I had my work review a few weeks ago and ever since then I have been feeling anxious, nervous, angry and frustrated.  If I could also include one more feeling in there, that would also be the feeling of regret.

Regret that once again I failed to listen to my gut feeling, my first impressions and my initial concerns.

I went home at lunch time today, emotionally drained, tired of trying to play nice in a pool of rudeness, egos, fake personalities and nasty secrets.

I dream once again of being away, over in Mauritius and being around a group of happy, humble, nice and honest people who I now call my dear friends.

Everyone in Mauritius is happy with life, love their jobs and have such strong values of friendship, family and just being content.  My friends over in that beautiful island may not earn much but yet they have everything they need and I just wish I could be in the same state, on their level with the same mentality, and same outlook on life.... I miss them dearly.

I always have the greatest fear of the unknown, and although the best way to solve this is confrontation, I don't know if I have the courage to do that.  I would much rather slip away and not have a lasting memory at the place which I call work right now, but for how much longer? I feel that is not going to be a decision I will have to make and it will be beyond my control.  Hello unknown, we will have to see what the verdict is at the end of next week, end of the month.

Another decision made in haste?

Yours Truly,

Miss A.